1) Being only ‘culturally’ Jewish.
2) Volunteering with indigenous Australians…or planning to.
3) Living with their parents, yet saving all their money so they can travel to exotic places, popular destinations including India (although that’s now a little passé), central Asia, or basically anywhere underdeveloped where travel is still ‘organic’.
4) Trance festivals, but only before they were ‘cool’.
5) Israeli backpackers who might have herpes…but ‘know how to treat a woman’
6) Viewing the Israeli-Palestinian conflict as one of ‘narratives’, and accepting that there is indeed a Palestinian narrative, but still deep down thinking that the Israeli narrative rocks just that little bit more.
7) Having token ‘non-Jewish’ friends, preferably Muslim.
8) Failing to mention that the school they went to was a private, Jewish school in conversations with their token ‘non-Jewish friends… rather mumbling ‘oh…you wouldn’t have heard of it…it’s kindof in Burwood.’
9) Dreaming of moving to the North side of town, like Northcote, but settling for Richmond instead because it’s still halway between the ghetto and the city.
10) Studying Jewish civilization subjects at Uni because they take a secular look at Jewish culture and because they’re a great place to meet attractive other left-leaning white Jews and lecturers.
11) Being obsessed with genocides.. the more recent the better.
12) Dissing AUJS
13) Dissing Adas Jews.
14) Saying things like ‘Well my wedding will be different…”
15) Road trips, drinking beer and being Australian…(but still not being able to shake off that weird, American, yiddish accent.)