Stuff white Jewish people from Melbourne Like

I recently stumbled across the blog ‘Stuff white people like in Melbourne’, a local version o the popular satirical blog, ‘Stuff white people like’. To give you an example, some of things listed in the Melbourne version include: Northcote, confest, fingerless gloves, Bonsoy, Tibetan prayer flags, pretending to hate cars and hidden, Chinese dumpling restaurants. I was surprised that I, myself, liked 99% of the things listed and the remaining one percent I simply hadn’t heard of yet but found enticing. In response to this blog I’ve compiled a list of things white, Jewish, Melbournians (myself included) often like.

1)      Being only ‘culturally’ Jewish.

2)      Volunteering with indigenous Australians…or planning to.

3)      Living with their parents, yet saving all their money so they can travel to exotic places, popular destinations including India (although that’s now a little passé), central Asia, or basically anywhere underdeveloped where travel is still ‘organic’.

4)      Trance festivals, but only before they were ‘cool’.

5)      Israeli backpackers who might have herpes…but ‘know how to treat a woman’

6)      Viewing the Israeli-Palestinian conflict as one of ‘narratives’, and accepting that there is indeed a Palestinian narrative, but still deep down thinking that the Israeli narrative rocks just that little bit more.

7)      Having token ‘non-Jewish’ friends, preferably Muslim.

8)      Failing to mention that the school they went to was a private, Jewish school in conversations with their token ‘non-Jewish friends… rather mumbling ‘oh…you wouldn’t have heard of it…it’s kindof in Burwood.’

9)      Dreaming of moving to the North side of town, like Northcote, but settling for Richmond instead because it’s still halway between the ghetto and the city.

10)  Studying Jewish civilization subjects at Uni because they take a secular look at Jewish culture and because they’re a great place to meet attractive other left-leaning white Jews and lecturers.

11)  Being obsessed with genocides.. the more recent the better.

12)  Dissing AUJS

13)  Dissing Adas Jews.

14)  Saying things like ‘Well my wedding will be different…”

15)  Road trips, drinking beer and being Australian…(but still not being able to shake off that weird, American, yiddish accent.)

Bush Doofs.. a totally 'organic' experience, just with the help of many chemicals

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5 responses to “Stuff white Jewish people from Melbourne Like

  1. Great stuff, kezza.

  2. so i had no idea you wrote a blog until i stumbled by it…..A-M-A-Z-I-N-G.. loving it!! hope ur well x

  3. I have contention with point number 7… we may need to hash this one out Kez. However, number 8 seems to account for this.

    I know I’m a little late here, but rediscovering this has filled me with joy. I am totally in love with you; it’s almost unhealthy.

  4. and by 7 and 8 what I meant was 6 and 7… shit.

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